So tired.

I could write an entire book about being tired right now. I am the king of tired. The mayor of sleepy-town. If you want to discuss exhaustion I’m your guy.

For years at least one of my brothers was living far from home and we’d write weekly emails to keep up. Stefan (brother #2) became known for his Hemingway style letters — “This week I made gretchka for lunch every day and it was good and I was satisfied.” — and only using one descriptor ever. Everything was “good” when it came to Stefan.

And just as much as Stefan was good, I was tired. Nearly every one of my emails started with “I’m so tired” and still today, I can’t express any tiredness around my brothers without being reminded that I’m always tired.

But this time I really mean it. Lars is deep into his four-month sleep regression and Fritz, who decided three weeks ago that he wanted to be potty trained, has learned that to stretch bedtime by at least 45 minutes by saying “need go pee pee” every five through bedtime. All of this to say we’ve hardly slept for more than two hours straight for the last week and never more than five to six hours total in a night. And of course the one night the boys did sleep a little better, I had to stay up till 2:30 working.

So this time, when I say I’m tired, I really mean it.

But tonight we started bedtime early, sang three songs (“pig song” (the song from Babe), “neighbor song” (Mr. Rogers’ It’s You I Like), and the pig song again), told one Bonky the Chicken story, prayed and had Fritz fake snoring for the bedtime monster (he’ll eat all your chocolate if you don’t go to sleep) by 8:15.

Sweet success.

And now that the two crazy, exhausting boys are in bed, what do we do? Watch them on the baby monitor, scroll through pictures of them and try to remember the dozens of silly phrases Fritz said today.

Here are a few from the last week or so:

It’s time to end this entry in a way that maybe only Stefan would approve of. I am tired but I am satisfied and I have two good boys and a good wife. To have so many good things in my life makes me happy in spite of so much tiredness. It is good. Fritz is good. Lars is good. Sammie is especially good. Good, good, good.

Good night.